I wish I could say I knew what I was doing when I started out on this dimly lit path. That I had a clear destination in mind, a star on the map. I didn’t then and I still don’t now. I am however, more persuaded than ever that I am moving in the right direction. The truth is that uncertainty has become my constant if somewhat uncomfortable companion on this journey.
What have I got to lose?
In May 2016, the only certainty in my life was that I could not stay where I was because my body was failing me. Gaining weight, and pre-diabetic, I could not exercise because I was dealing with debilitating fatigue. I could not push a loaded shopping cart through COSTCO or a vacuum cleaner across the floor. I could not cook for myself let alone my teenage son. Neglecting the housework, I ordered groceries online. Anxiety and depression followed, and I worried about my financial situation as a single parent. I was permanently disabled with a progressive condition and told I would never be able to return to work. I didn’t like the future laid out before me and so I decided to take a risk instead.
I have found a way to reduce the impact that MERRF was having on my life and I have sustained those benefits for over two years. By all subjective and objective measurements, I am in the best health of my life. I am working with my medical team to further research in the field going forward. I don’t know where this will go, but I am not attached to the outcome. My strategy for health recovery has been successful by my own definition and I live the proof of it everyday. Now maybe I can give a flashlight to those starting out on their own dimly lit path.